今日HSC-ESL belonging Band 6

2011-10-21 来源： bored of studies 评论2条

上一篇今日悉尼-ESL（Module B-study for English)

Belonging is indispensable in this society. It is a basic need that keeps us alive.we can't live without depending on other people. Therefore,physically we cannot avoid belonging. However, we do have a mental choice to reject these connection to not belong and be homeless or we can choose accept these connections to belong.All these facets have been evidently demonstrated in the following texts, famous comedy "Friends" , the novel China Coin , the poems In the Folk museum and St Partick's College by Peter Skrzynecki.
    Mostly,when ur relationship with somewhere is long and strong enough, it becomes impossible to avoid this relationship. In friends, the six main characters has an extremely strong physical connection to Monica's apartment. Her apartment is the place that six of the friends hang out the most. it becomes a place they would go to without even thinking about it.For example in the episode With the Tiny T-shirt, After Monica's back from Italy,She saw 5 of her friends sat in her apartment,then she said to them"Hello,people who don't live here,I gave you a key for emergencies." Then, they answered" We were out of Doritos." This dramatic irony has clearly shown that going to that apartment is no longer a decision, it becomes a subconsciousness. Further more , in the episode with Rachel's Crush, after joey and chandler get Monica's apartment.Instead of Monica ,they get inviting friends coming to that apartment . Ross derides Monica " Somebody seems to be missing being the hostess."This irony here again shows us they go to that apartment although Monica's not the hostess any longer. Their bodies know where to go.With the strong connection to this apartment, they can hardly avoid the sense of belonging, even though the environment has changed.
    No one has the power to make us not belonging and homeless except ourselves because we are the hosters of our own minds"From the poem "In the Folk Museum.Peter finds himself in an Australian country town where he does not belong and he also finds the life he observes in the town itself,reinforce his view of himself as an outsider"I look at words That describe machinery,clothes, transport...to remind me of a past which isn't mine.   "The darkness of the room and the "absence of voices"are images of the author's alienation from his surroundings, his awareness of not belonging here.Colours through the poem are dull,autumnal, chilling ."yellow and brown" "Her hair's the same colour as the grey clay bottle " whose "coldness " is itself another image of alienation. all the author registers is fragmentary .All the objects in the museum " the dark room, the dark colour,the words,the caretaker and even the roofs and walls. Those are just normal items. they won't make other people this upset and feeling homeless ,it is his own idea to become not belonging,the author's own choice makes the poem look negative,all the descriptive words he uses let the poem even emptier such as" darkness,betrays, departing ,absence of voices...."In the Folk Museum" deploys objects,people and fragments of experience to
capture the author's unease in this environment. His negativity makes himself not belong and be homeless.If he chooses not to belong by himself,he can never hope to be more than a "visitor"..
    In another case ,in the poem St Patrick's College, Peter Skrynecki again chooses to be negative and not belong."For eight years" ,Under the jubilant surface of "Played chasing up and down" , Peter has chosen to be just "like a foreign tourist" .Although he physically belong to that place,he mentally repels the sense of belonging.Around 8 years,his departing intentions always exist.In this poem, it shows no connection to his friends,he'd rather have relationship with Our lady.This can be seen when he says "Our lady watched" and "Our lady still watching" This technique of personification and repetition has clearly shown his choice of not belong and being homeless.No one has forced him to leave his social/school group,his negativity has made him homeless.
    Comparing to Peter Skrzynecki,Leah in The China Coin chooses to belong with her mum and her friends and being positive and happy.At beginning, Leah's relationship with her mum Joan was strained since she refers to her as the "evil aunt" "Joan",evil aunt is a technique of metaphor,it shows nagetive feelings " Joan" is a technique of 3 rd person which shows the distance between Leah & "Joan.Espicially when Leah is lost during the student protest and result in a huge arguement with Joan"It's your rotten China."presents again a big difference from Both Joan and Leah,through the emphasis on "your" and "from China with the describtive word "rotten" Comparing to Peter's relationship with his school and folk museum, Leah's realtionship with her mum at first was even more unstisfactory .But rather than running away and belonging to someone else,Leah has stayed with her mum and tried to fix this relationship.When she decides to end the conflict with her mother and rebuild the relationship,saying "It's over"Leah took Joan's hand and squeezed"we've been through a lot,eh"The action of squeezing echoes they are becoming closer.
    While Leah decided to belong to her Chinese culture,she also finds a second home. Even though Leah is reserved,the warmth and acceptance of this family draw her in,it's also for the first time Leah was thinking of Joan's family as her family.further more,Leah again builds relationships with family members Ke, Linan and uncle Tong.When the other half of the coin falls from the croll. Leah's reaction is positive"Li-Nan crushed her pounded her on the back and called her "sister" The symbolism of the strong hug and approval by Li Nan shows her acceptance into this family.Leah also build a special relationship with her cousin Ke. When Joan's in the hospital,Ke becomes the only one who Leah can depend on.She decides to build a relationship with him in order to belong with him.Since then,Ke refers to Leah with the word"mate",This typical Australian word presents Ke accepted Leah and her clture.Also mate's a very positive word.It shows a positive relationship with people that's what it exactly represents here. Comparing to Peter's homeless, Leah both physically and mentally chooses to belong,therefore,she gets a positive and good result.
    Friendship, family,and places gives us warmth in order to make our bodies know where or what they belong,however,if we choose to not belonging,it'll make us homeless;but if we mentally choose to belonging,no matter how hard the suituiation is, we'll get through it,and finally belong with someone or someplace that we like.

                                                                      By Mickey Gerrerd

【今日点评】这篇Belonging essay 的题目（physically we cannot avoid belonging but we have a mental choice to reject belonging) 是属于比较新颖的。文章中supplementary text引用著名美剧Friends以及非常精炼的引用了peter Skrynecki的诗，构思清晰，是全文中的点睛之笔。最后的China Coin部分稍有薄弱，这篇文章的最后评分可以是18-20.
excellent!

  上一篇今日悉尼-ESL（Module B-study for English)

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